Feeling that his love for her was being questioned he answered in a huff, “Of course I do! How could you accuse me of forgetting?” With that he kissed her and left for work.

Later that morning, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, a flower delivery guy handed her a box of a dozen beautiful pink roses. Early that afternoon, a silky gift wrapped box of her favorite fancy chocolates were delivered to the house. Later in the afternoon, the local jeweler dropped off a little box with the most beautiful diamond earrings. By early evening, the woman couldn’t wait for her husband to get home. As soon as he walked through the door she ran up to him and kissed him full on the lips.

“You wonderful loving man you,” she declared. “First the flowers, then the chocolate and then the earrings!” she exclaimed. “If you treat me this wonderfully on World Environment Day, I can’t wait to see what you’ll do for our anniversary!”

Not convinced of his innocence the woman yells,” I don’t think you love anyone but yourself, you stupid, useless, crazy, drunk!”.

“Wow this is amazing,” he hiccups, “You also speak just like her.”

The man forces his eyes open, however, and the first things he sees are two headache tablets next to a glass of water on his night table, and, next to them, a single red rose! He sits up with difficulty and sees his clothing hung on the back of his chair all clean and pressed and the rest of the house all spic and span and in perfect order.

Incredulous, the man takes the tablets, then winces when he sees a nasty black eye looking back at him from the bathroom mirror. Then he finds a note next to the red rose on the night table: “Sweetie, breakfast is waiting for you on the stove. I left early to buy the ingredients to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! The note was signed, “Your loving wife”.

The man then stumbles into the kitchen and incredibly enough, there is a hot breakfast waiting for him along with steaming hot tea, and the morning paper. His daughter Jessie is also at the table, eating. “Jess… what happened last night?” The man asks, with some trepidation.

“Well, you came home around four o’clock in the morning, drunk and out of your senses. You tripped and fell onto the coffee table and broke it, and then you vomited all over the bathroom floor, and got this black eye when you crashed into the table edge.”

Baffled, the man asked Jessie, “Then why is everything in such perfect shape and so clean? Why is there a rose on my nightstand, and breakfast on the stove waiting for me?”

“Oh that, Jessie replies, “Well, Mom pulled you into your bedroom, and when she tried to undress you, you yelled, “Leave me alone, I’m married and I love my wife!’”

“Being a bachelor is great,” Brad began, “but in every man’s life the time comes when he yearns for the company of another individual, an individual who will consider him perfect like a hero; an individual who he can treat as completely his own; who will be caring and true during difficult times; and who will share in his delights and sorrows.”

Much to his joy, Brad saw an understanding look dawning in Elaine’s eyes. Nodding her head in agreement Elaine declared, “What a wonderful idea, Brad! I just know I can help you find the perfect puppy!”

The bartender pours him a stiff drink and asks, “What’s bothering you sir?”

“Well, bartender, I’m 30 years old and I am having no luck finding love. No matter what I do, I only manage to frighten women away.”

“Don’t worry, sir, your problem is not serious. I see it everyday working here. All you have to do is to develop a stronger sense of self-esteem. To do that you must go to your bathroom mirror every morning right after you wake up. Look at your reflection in there and say to yourself, “I am a good guy, a fun guy, and an attractive guy”. If you say this with absolute certainty and confidence, in just one week women will love you and begin flocking to your side.

The man is happy with this assessment and leaves the bar after paying his tab eager to try out the bartender?s advice and find love. Three weeks later, however, he goes back to the same bar looking every bit as depressed as before.

“What?s the matter, sir, wasn?t my advice effective?” asks the bartender.

“Oh, it was very effective. During the past three weeks I’ve had some of the best times in my life with the most attractive women I?ve ever met.”

?I don?t understand. What’s your problem then?”

“Oh, I don’t have a problem anymore,” the man says. “My wife?s the one with the problem now.”

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, “We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?”

The businessman replied, “Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?”

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said “Wait just a minute!”

She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in the casket.”

“Yes,” the wife said, “I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?”

“I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”

1) Cat approaches parrot
2) Checking what is it
3) Closer look
4) Cat is playful now
5) Friendship begins
6) trust building
7) playful and happy
8) happy and content
9) playing resting
10) playing sleeping
11) being themselves
12) lazying around
13) caring
14) cat is in the cage
15) cat looking outside